All I feel is sadness and I am so tired of it.

Today was a really great day xD But more into detail about today tomorrow (or the next time I actually blog) Anyway, I need to get this of my chest. 

#1 Friend

I just always thought becoming good friends with someone means that you guys will friends with each other until the end. Like you know so much about me and what is going on in my life. Yet,you don’t seem to care anymore. I told you what was happening with my dad cause well I thought you cared but know I doubt it. Maybe you were really just curious. Cause if you cared then you would bother to comfort me and ask me if I am okay since well it is on Thursday and I just want to scream and cry. But I feel like I am seeking you out to tell you my problems and bothering you. But I guess your new found friends mean more and I don’t really care if you don’t remember me or even give a fuck about me. I just don’t get how you do it. I don’t get how you can care about one person one minute and totally not give a shit the next. We are great friends and suddenly we don’t even talk and I am the only making conversation. And I am so tired and so sad. The last two years of getting closer to each other meant nothing? But heh. What the hell can I do? I have done what I can to try and keep this damn friendship because it means alot to me but it won’t work out in the end cause it is one sided. And well, I am done.

#2 Friend

So damn different. I liked the old you. The bitchy but not overly bitchy one. The one I felt damn comfortable ranting to . But you just seem different. It is like we weren’t even friends. Maybe I always considered you a great friend but it was probably just me. I can’t help you if you don’t want to help yourself. You tell almost everyone your problems but you don’t even take any ones advise. You are not doing anything to make your situation better. And it is frankly just damn annoying. Because how do you expect a puzzle to be solved when you leave the pieces in the box? 

I am not the type to mix very fast. I take awhile to get comfortable with someone. I take awhile to be able to tell you more personal stuff. I am not fast at it cause I don’t want to tell the wrong people cause I don’t want to get hurt. That is how I am. But right now I feel so alone. Because just because it takes me time doesn’t mean that it takes everyone time and that is just sad cause everyone is moving on but I am stuck. 

I don’t want to be stuck anymore. 

I have all these people ranting to me about their issues. Most of them don’t bother to listen to my own issues and almost the rest ask because they are curious not because they really care. 


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