I don’t feel like I’m falling, I’m up against the sky.

It’s been awhile since I have blogged. I figured I need to fix and stop whatever I’m feeling before I get downright depressed so I’m trying and I’m willing to try as hard as I can because I’m just sick of those feelings.

I somewhat feel like the IBS thing I went for really helped in a weird, unexpected way.As funny as this sounds, I was kind of glad that I got week to spend with people I did not really know that well and a break from everyone else. I enjoyed the ferry rides and I definitely enjoyed the IBS. I mean yeah, I would have definitely preferred going for OBS but under the circumstances and the fact that I couldn’t really change my fractured ankle, I was glad. I’ve been thinking about life and the future and all that difficult stuff . And I have no clue what the end is but I somewhat have  goals that I want to achieve and I feel like I finally have a direction. It feels good to have something to work towards.

I also realised that there are some people out there who are just no worth it and those who I’m so lucky to have in my life. I think I have about only a small amount people who I know will be there for me.I don’t really need any more. There is one person who I’m utterly confused about. If you know me, you’ll know that I can’t stand no replies. I mean if the message doesn’t require a reply I don’t give a damn. But if you ask me if I’m okay and I reply and you don’t reply then it pisses me off. Not so much because I want to see what you have to say but because it’s so obvious that you were just curious and that you don’t really give a fuck. Up till yesterday, I was so sure you were a wonderful friend and now I’m just like wtf but I can’t help that you don’t care. It hurts but there isn’t anything I can do so I’ll get over it.

There is also that whole thing with my parents but I think that’s clearing up so I won’t dwell on it too much. I’m pretty bummed I can’t go for Hannah’s party but there is really nothing I can do about it at this point so I’m trying not focus on that.

One a brighter note, I’m moving. I wish to another country but no to a house. Like a two storey house and everything. It’s pretty exciting cause I get my own room and everything.  But then again,there’s that bit of sentimentality, I don’t really want to leave this house which is probably why I don’t want to start packing even though I’m pretty screwed because it’s kind of late.:( Okay but that’s not the point. The point is I’m going to live so near Simar and that’s going to be freaking awesome. And also partly because I’m going to be living near a certain someone who I always have awkward eye contact with  (and the one and only person that makes me blush) HAHA and that’s going to freaking awesome tooooooo.  My sister is back too and finally got my Panic! shirt and Paramore shirt and oh my red TOMS too. Oh my adventure with Mun Cheng is going to start too and that’s pretty exciting.

Okay I think that’s about all for now 😀 Maybe i’ll start updating more frequently. Who knows? (;


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