2 things that I need to get off my chest. I haven’t felt like talking about what’s going with me to anybody because it’s so messed up that I don’t even know how to begin. But I think I need to start untangling my thoughts and figuring out what the hell is wrong with me.
1) The same person I was talking about earlier. You are constantly confusing me.Confusing may not be the right word but for now that’s okay. So anyways, I feel like I’m the only trying. I’m the only making an effort by imitating conversations. I think I have said that I was going to give up on it a gazzilion times but something is holding me back.I don’t know really how I feel about this. I do know that I wished I mattered to you. Because it really seems like out of all your friends, I’m the one you are not making an effort to actually stay friends with. Maybe I’m not getting the hint or maybe because I don’t want to get the hint. But all I know is I should stop bothering so much because it’s stupid really. Extremely stupid in fact.
2) Awkward eye contact guy. HAHA I saw him again today. But the thing is, I should really get over this whole infatuation/crush thing I have on him. Because I know deep down nothing is going to happen because please, a guy like him will never go for someone like me. Plus, we have never even had a conversation so he doesn’t even know me at all. I don’t think I ever expected anything but I always hoped. But oh well. It’s always better to be high on the fantasy where he likes me than actual reality where I’m just the girl who spilt ice-cream on him. You read right.
Fevers back and I’m feeling pretty sad again so I’m going to go sleep away all my problems.